Land of Fantasy

Waked up at 5:40, I merrily found that it was raining as the sound of the raindrops striking the ground was so clear. I always like the rain in the summertime, not that kind of heavy storm rain, but the gentle sprinkle, which would moisten the air and disappear the dryness and heat and most importantly, produce a state of atmosphere that can calm myself down and make me think about the everyday life in a quiet way, out of the turbid fog.

I’ve been thinking about updating my blog, but every time when I start to write, those words which I’ve pondered carefully choke in my mind and then it stops me from continuing to write it. Time is a big stealer, stealing days away and leaving stealthily to the Neverland. Hardly can you chase to find him and ask him to return the things that were used to belong to you. Time is just like a window, through which you can review the past but can’t take it out to the present world.

I always consider myself as an emotional man, which, to some extent, slows down my footsteps of fighting for the dreams as I often stop to think about the reality and easily felt confused and lost. Sometimes I even abandon myself in the meditation world, neglecting all the other things in my life. Lost central concentration of the present and the future, I’m more like a boat, swaying in the vast water and can’t find a direction to reach the destination. I know that I constantly shoulder tremendous pressure and burden on myself, even at the time when I achieve something great and should actually relieve myself and award myself a piece of cake. It seems that I will never be satisfied with the way I that behave and the successes that I take.

Days ago I read an article in China Daily, telling about the “Gap year” and the stories of several Chinese young gappers, who spared one year off in a foreign country, working and travelling, and thus gaining much life experience through the journey. And it somehow added some unique panache to their lives for what they’ve gone through were different from those who didn’t choose that less-travelled road of having a gap year before or after the college years. This article further confirms my plan of taking one month off in this summer vocation, taking a trip to Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and Laos without going in a group organized by the travel agency, but to make specific plans by asking for help from the ones who’ve already travelled there and searching for useful information from the Internet. It will be a tough pre-work as I’ve never travelled to foreign lands like this before and many details should be ensured. Some people who have heard about my project say that I am insane because it could have been very dangerous to travel to step into foreign countries alone. However, just like what I’ve told my parents, I tell those friends that it will be a pity if you don’t ever take a look at the outside world at a young age. And time in college is exactly the proper time to carry out the plan and take a kind of “gap year” to go on an expedition to find the real self on the road on account of that you could pay for the travel expenses by using your own money from the part time job you take and the maturation of body and communication enable you to go farther. I’m very looking forward to having the “gap month” and to seeing the fantasy of the outside world.